c o n c e p t:
I’m not too sure how this idea was born, but I was just looking for puns as I always do and somehow stumbled upon the word, Wagyu, which sounds like wag you, which lead me to think that having a rap song called “Wagyu Tails” , an aspirational rap song for all cows out there would be a great bad idea. We all know that Wagyu beef is the best beef out there, so it only makes sense that they would have a rap group called “Gyu ‘Head”, gyu means cow in Japanese if you haven’t realized yet, that raps about songs about how they are the best.
So what’s so special about wagyu beef? WELL…
As I am just a peasant, I’ve never had it, but apparently the marbling on the beef is so insane that the fat melts as you cook it in a way that creates this buttery feel. Based also on my research I’ve learned that Wagyu beef getting massaged and being fed beer is a lie :O.
so here it goes y’all ain’t ready for the next best thing in rap, “Gyu ‘Head” with their hit single, “Wagyu Tail”
r a p:
intro:
Wagyu tail girl
Wagyu tail boy
Wagyu tail girl
Wagyu tail boy (all said in a seductive Ying Yang twins whisper like voice)
first verse:
I heard all you other cows got beef with me
When you’re cramped up in a farm, I’m roaming free
Cause I’m worth more with all this marbling
You can’t even afford all this bling bling (insert frame of a cow with a dollar chain)
Don’t even try to fight my vibe
There’s only 300 of us in my tribe
We’re special and the market knows
Can’t breed us like crazy hoes
pre-chorus:
Everybody wants us to cattle with them
Our body’s a temple, the creme de la creme
Melt like butter in your mouth
The path for other beef can only go south
chorus:
So wagyu tail if your marbling is above a six
wagyu tail girl, wagyu tail boy
And wagyu tail if you look good in pics
Wagyu tail if your meat quality 4 out of 5
wagyu tail girl, wagyu tail boy
And wagyu tail cause we can’t physically high five
second verse:
Kobe might be the biggest star in the NBA
But this Kobe right here is the most expensive in the USA
My fat’s melting point is lower than you other beef
Melts right in a human’s mouth, don’t need to use no teeth
I come from the Tajima strain
The star of this show, get out of my lane
I’m known around the world as high quality meat
Mcdonald cows get out of this room so you don’t get beat
pre-chorus:
Everybody wants us to cattle with them
Our body’s a temple, the creme de la creme
Melt like butter in your mouth
The path for other beef can only go south
chorus:
So wagyu tail if your marbling is above a six
wagyu tail girl, wagyu tail boy
And wagyu tail if you look good in pics
Wagyu tail if your meat quality 4 out of 5
wagyu tail girl, wagyu tail boy
And wagyu tail cause we can’t physically high five
bridge: (Drake like singing duhh)
We’ve got a longer life to live
A little more fat to give
Humans throw money at us like we’re an expensive stripper
All these waiters make money from us cause we make their clients big tippers
Service may not be the best
But our meat always passes the test
chorus:
So wagyu tail if your marbling is above a six
wagyu tail girl, wagyu tail boy
And wagyu tail if you look good in pics
Wagyu tail if your meat quality 4 out of 5
wagyu tail girl, wagyu tail boy
And wagyu tail cause we can’t physically high five
outro:
Wagyu tail girl
Wagyu tail boy
Wagyu tail girl
Wagyu tail boy (all said in a seductive Ying Yang twins whisper like voice again!)
So you can basically tell I’ve gone a little insane. I do enjoy writing fun raps or comedy spoken word poetry so I thought I’d give it a try! What better topic to write about than wagyu beef! To end this rap off I’d like to post a picture of myself next to a cow I found on the street. The unfortunate (or fortunate) part of the picture is how my body is covering half the name and now it looks like the cow could be saying something inappropriate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ , but I swear it’s supposed to say Alex Farm and not anything else.
