April 22 is the most important day of April after April Fools and 420. It is the day we celebrate EARTH!
So to all my dearest baddies (yes I tried to give a nickname to my non-existent fans), Happy Earth Day! Hope that you guys got to enjoy the beautiful weather this weekend (depending on where in the world you are).
In partnership with the Earth ,I have decided to make this week’s idea Earth-themed so that I can do my part in taking care of the planet.
c o n c e p t:
Ever tried googling “how to break up with your significant other” or “how do I tell my friend so and so” well “Please Leaf” is the solution to your fear of confrontation. “Please Leaf” is a product that allows you to express everything you want to anyone you want.
Our mission and vision is to become the Valentine’s day cards of unpleasant confrontations.
Now how will we accomplish that?
p r o d u c t:
“Please Leaf” is a farewell card for all those situations you don’t want to address due to your fear of confrontation. We live in a generation where if someone phones you instead of texting we get scared because phoning is just so ultra intimate. Like why is this person calling me and not texting, why do I fear the sound of my own voice, why do I think they will be able to smell my garlic breath through the phone? So many questions that can be avoided and will be avoided by using “Please Leaf”.
Step 1: Choosing a Leaf
You can choose from an array of different leaves for your situation. We’ve got the following and more!:
- Bae Leaf (bay leaf)
- Let us Leaf (lettuce leaf)
- B*tch Leaf (birch leaf)
- May pull Leaf (maple leaf)
(Hope you didn’t need my explanations in parentheses, but I added them just in case.)
Step 2: Choose your TLDR
We have standardized TLDR (too long didn’t read) versions of your message all around leaf puns. Studies show that humour makes the pain sting less.
Sadly my confirmation bias way of using google did not work as I do not think any of the top 3 results confirms what I have just said. On a personal note though, self deprecating humour has saved me a lot. I’d rather I tell myself that I’m a lazy slob and laugh about it versus someone else telling me that (not sure if this blog just got dark or people realize that that’s just my humour!!!).
Some examples of TLDRs:
- I’m leafing you: good for a straight to the point break up
- Please leaf me alone: good for that clingy friend who has asked you to hang over 45 times even though you just saw them yesterday
- I need to leaf town: good for when you are leaving your husband and taking your kids with you
- You’ll leaf one day too: good for when you’re in a love rut and believe that your significant other is going to leave you like everyone else apparently has (yes you are probably a sad tumblr user)
- Leaf; get out: good for when you want to get message our just like JoJo did circa 2004
- True friends never leaf you behind: good for that friend who you’ve been trying to hang with but are TIRED OF THEIR poop for not investing as much effort as you have
This message will be displayed right on the front of the card so that they know exactly what to expect inside the card. It’s the way we’re taught to structure our presentations and essays too. Give your audience the summary of your message first so they know what’s coming.
Step 3: Your personalized message
This is where you actually have to come up with some message on how you’re going to break the bad news. We suggest you keep it to the point and not let it drag for too long. Do not fret we offer additional services for a reasonable fee to review your message and ensure that it’s the perfect fit for that not so special someone. You don’t want to be that person who writes about how you never liked anything you said you liked about your partner and that you actually find your partner’s dog unbearable. Nobody wants to be THAT person. For a reasonable fee, we will help you not be THAT person.
Step 4: Finally leaf them
Once we’ve finalized your order, you will provide us with how you want us to deliver this message. We offer different services. It can be through mail services, through e-mail, or through a facebook message. We even offer personalized deliveries where one of our couriers will hand deliver it to them, you can pay extra for a courier trained in consolation.
All it takes is 4 steps to leaf somebody, which is much more efficient and easy on your own soul. Who really wants to spend 3 hours talking about where things went wrong when really all it takes is a simple card to summarize what exactly went wrong. So let’s embrace our fear of confrontation and adapt the way we confront each other to suit our needs.
This is the type of problem we are trying to solve and it is one that we hold dear to our heart.
SOOOOO…HAPPY EARTH DAY!
Hope you leaf this post a little happier than you were before you came here.
AND OF COURSE! the cards will be made of 100% recyclable material, because just like the person you’re about to replace, always reduce, reuse, and recycle before you buy something new.